Talking whilst driving

[tjamesbo]

I m in a new relationship so lifes changing but my new partner / GF talks incessantly whilst I m driving I always liked to drive with a nice musical background from my extensive playlists now on say a 30-40 minute trip through birmingham its non stop talking even when i just go mm yes hmmm and dont contribute Its getting now to the stage where i'm irritated its generally woman type talk / gossip as well her friends relationships etc etc really i just want her to shut up I just want to drive and listen to the music its taking what for me was generally pleasurable ( driving to a soundtrack ) into what i can only describe now as an ordeal . Its also distracting so I'm less aware of speed limits etc , its now becoming a relationship deal breaker for me, but I'm living at hers now at least until march and ive dropped hints trying to be tactful eg I cant concentrate properly if we re talking , ive got a headache , I turn the music up , she will often reach for the knob and turn it down , etc
Is it me?? being selfish ? I just want music / driving and yes a bit of conversation should i be a person that converses all the time when driving ? dont get me wrong i'm all for a bit of talk but for all the journey
so what are your views on this ? how much do you converse ? whats reasonable have you had similar ?
need to get this off my chest struggling to cope with it do others cope better than me ?

 

[LostKiwi]

Difficult one.
I know exactly where you're coming from as I often like to escape into my own thoughts whilst driving. I'm fortunate in that MrsLK has now taken to sleeping when we go any distance. That said we have had some excellent chats while driving.

If she's always asking your views try turning the tables on her and ask her opinions on cars or some such thing she's not that interested in.

One thing I've found is that as relationships progress you have less and less to talk about as you've already covered most things and can be fairly certain you know the other person's opinions without the need to ask.

Maybe you just need to bring it fully out in the open with her?

 

[Blobcat]

Noise cancelling earbuds and a beanie hat…

Or a limo with a privacy screen…

 

[ajlsl600]

I m in a new relationship so lifes changing but my new partner / GF talks incessantly whilst I m driving I always liked to drive with a nice musical background from my extensive playlists now on say a 30-40 minute trip through birmingham its non stop talking even when i just go mm yes hmmm and dont contribute Its getting now to the stage where i'm irritated its generally woman type talk / gossip as well her friends relationships etc etc really i just want her to shut up I just want to drive and listen to the music its taking what for me was generally pleasurable ( driving to a soundtrack ) into what i can only describe now as an ordeal . Its also distracting so I'm less aware of speed limits etc , its now becoming a relationship deal breaker for me, but I'm living at hers now at least until march and ive dropped hints trying to be tactful eg I cant concentrate properly if we re talking , ive got a headache , I turn the music up , she will often reach for the knob and turn it down , etc
Is it me?? being selfish ? I just want music / driving and yes a bit of conversation should i be a person that converses all the time when driving ? dont get me wrong i'm all for a bit of talk but for all the journey
so what are your views on this ? how much do you converse ? whats reasonable have you had similar ?
need to get this off my chest struggling to cope with it do others cope better than me ?

Get a louder music system!!!!!!!!!

 

[Wearsafoxhat]

Just tell her, don’t let little things fester, I find a bit of fishing is peaceful, just decide who’s going


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[V6Matty]

It’s a hard conversation to have and they’ll probably be a few days of uncomfortable silence, but it’s better to have the conversation , even if it means a parting of ways.
You may even find that she try’s engaging conversations in the future, rather than just the inane jabber she is currently doing

 

[M80]

Play a nice song,

 

[bladecrazy]

if only we had a remote!!

 

[littlebrooklyn]

I listen to the radio and talk whilst driving too and I think it's often a woman thing. Keith has learnt to 'switch off' mentally. He doesn't hear the radio and I may as well be talking to myself most of the time. I do think that if it's bothering you so much that you really need to say something, but you have to be tactful. Tell her if you don't concentrate on driving you might crash the car, that might be enough to stop her or if something tactful has no effect then you really are going to have to sit and talk to her about it. There is no remote control for us

 

[Dean Fletcher]

Just be honest and tell her to shut the f@@k up. Direct and upfront is the policy.

 

[mioba]

If your relationship is sound then explain it to your partner - she will understand (hoping).
If it is as bad as you say - maybe she is not the one.
I may be a bit cynical here having recently split from my German wife under awful circumstance (she was in an affair and made a huge written plan - dumb fcuk, which I found and she has no idea, breaks my heart as we have kids).
Lifes too short - enjoy the music.

 

[Rotorhead500]

Buy a V8.

 

[SmartAmg]

 

[s5tuart]

I feel your pain. I don't even like music on in my car.
As others have said, be up front about it. If the relationship suffers from that then it's not meant to be

 

[EmilysDad]

you want to try having my Mum in the car ..... she NEVER shuts up!

 

[littlebrooklyn]

you want to try having my Mum in the car ..... she NEVER shuts up!

I bet my mum is worse. She's a backseat driver and is always on the edge of her seat telling Keith he is too close to every other car on the road. She talks literally non stop and when I'm sitting in the back of the car I can't hear a word she is saying, which is probably not such a bad thing

 

[EmilysDad]

I bet my mum is worse. She's a backseat driver and is always on the edge of her seat telling Keith he is too close to every other car on the road. She talks literally non stop and when I'm sitting in the back of the car I can't hear a word she is saying, which is probably not such a bad thing

Not a chance .... lol lol

 

[sonic]

We have been married for almost 50 years, & done lots of long distance driving together. We lived in Germany for 6 years, with long driving trips back to the UK. Fortunately we seem to have been able to balance each others needs, when it comes to talking while driving.

 

[SL63 Mark]

On a serious note, just don't speak. After a few minutes most people get the idea. So stop with the "mm" "yes" "hmmm", and just be silent,

No one will carry on talking if there is zero response. Works every time. It's not difficult, but may take some practice initially.

It won't upset the other person, they will naturally fall silent too, and you can let the conversation fall into a peaceful rhythm.

She is just excited to be out with you at the moment, it will wear off in time.

 

[SL63 Mark]

We have been married for almost 50 years, & done lots of long distance driving together. We lived in Germany for 6 years, with long driving trips back to the UK. Fortunately we seem to have been able to balance each others needs, when it comes to talking while driving.

Yep, same here.