Botus
Senior Member
when scanning diagnostics on cars and bikes - often the battery isn't able to cope holding the voltage where it needs - whilst a lot of garages bodge it up scanning whilst running, you aren't meant to and certain stuff can't cope - and if doing a bit more, some specifically demand the engine is off
so I like to add a bit of support with a battery charger - and this rant is mostly for the bikes that pull massively less current than the average modern car
Oxford £80 quid - uselessness
I used to have an Oxford thing that could push up to 6 amps and show the Volts and the Amps - and had three modes you need - and whilst now and then using the bike or the car modes, it might push the unit over to maint mode just as you didn't want it to (like when you key cycle), it would quickly see the world change and kick back to providing the needed grunt - but if that didn't get enough, you'd switch to winter mode and it pushed out a sensible amount of grunt straight away
Sadly it died, and I replaced it with almost the same model (exact spec older better one is now unobtainable) - the new one is great in that its the ONLY charger I own that shows both the volts and the amps you need !!! but this replacement is otherwise utterly hopeless - same thing but now new algorithms and with insane functionality.
So the bike battery is OK, but as soon as the key is on 11.8 volts - where upon this retarded charger says Oh, I think I'll go in to maint mode and think about life - key still on 11.7 volts, no amps supporting - push to car mode - oh, I can't be bothered leave me alone .... bike now at 11.6 volts (not helped as the kit doing the diagnostics comms always pulls power via the odb2 socket) ...so you push it to full on winter mode where it says, still in maint but I'll give u an amp and think about it for 30 mins !!!! NOTHING will push this one to wake up and do the 4 amps it can supply but can't be arsed to bother with....
cTech £80 quid - I wonder whats happening stupidity
So I thought these cTech ones are the DBs I'll get one, should last longer to boot - but you have ZERO idea what the volts and amps are doing - yes great build, yes loads of useless LEDs - No flipping idea if its working or doing enough to support what I'm doing !!!
Lidl £12 quid - trash
3 year warranty - a grown up display of Volts and a button to toggle the same three modes you get on an Oxford one. This ALWAYS does as its told and you can instantly see where the battery is and if this tool is helping enough to continue safety with the job in hand....
Except the good one is in the car - its raining and dark
So I can't be bothered to fight the rain falling off a Mercedes boot lid and damaging things. So of course you connect the two devices you have - wires everywhere and then the retarded Oxford charger's utter apathy is quite helpful !!! - Whilst it can't be BOTHERED TO CHARGE ANYTHING when even the most dim child can see its urgently needed..... its Volts and Amp display brings EXACTLY what the pathetic rip off cTech charger needs but never bothered to have !!!
Where upon in this halfway sensible combo set up you can see the cTech one is actually blasting out 14.8 volts - great until you need to key on and off cycle the bike - and its sleepy dim witted electronics brain doesn't notice and now its blasting out 15.4 Volts - key back on and its still doing it - where upon all the modules complain - Aghhh, I don't like high volts !!!
Moral - buy lidl quality junk - not posh TRASH from robbing idiots
So then you need to push software at a car and its the same stupidity yet again - So you buy a £500 quid one and it does exactly the same mistakes - over Volts as you key cycle the thing - well it does on a E class - but an S class is so power hungry you need permanent attachment to a 11kV sub-station
so I like to add a bit of support with a battery charger - and this rant is mostly for the bikes that pull massively less current than the average modern car
Oxford £80 quid - uselessness
I used to have an Oxford thing that could push up to 6 amps and show the Volts and the Amps - and had three modes you need - and whilst now and then using the bike or the car modes, it might push the unit over to maint mode just as you didn't want it to (like when you key cycle), it would quickly see the world change and kick back to providing the needed grunt - but if that didn't get enough, you'd switch to winter mode and it pushed out a sensible amount of grunt straight away
Sadly it died, and I replaced it with almost the same model (exact spec older better one is now unobtainable) - the new one is great in that its the ONLY charger I own that shows both the volts and the amps you need !!! but this replacement is otherwise utterly hopeless - same thing but now new algorithms and with insane functionality.
So the bike battery is OK, but as soon as the key is on 11.8 volts - where upon this retarded charger says Oh, I think I'll go in to maint mode and think about life - key still on 11.7 volts, no amps supporting - push to car mode - oh, I can't be bothered leave me alone .... bike now at 11.6 volts (not helped as the kit doing the diagnostics comms always pulls power via the odb2 socket) ...so you push it to full on winter mode where it says, still in maint but I'll give u an amp and think about it for 30 mins !!!! NOTHING will push this one to wake up and do the 4 amps it can supply but can't be arsed to bother with....
cTech £80 quid - I wonder whats happening stupidity
So I thought these cTech ones are the DBs I'll get one, should last longer to boot - but you have ZERO idea what the volts and amps are doing - yes great build, yes loads of useless LEDs - No flipping idea if its working or doing enough to support what I'm doing !!!
Lidl £12 quid - trash
3 year warranty - a grown up display of Volts and a button to toggle the same three modes you get on an Oxford one. This ALWAYS does as its told and you can instantly see where the battery is and if this tool is helping enough to continue safety with the job in hand....
Except the good one is in the car - its raining and dark
So I can't be bothered to fight the rain falling off a Mercedes boot lid and damaging things. So of course you connect the two devices you have - wires everywhere and then the retarded Oxford charger's utter apathy is quite helpful !!! - Whilst it can't be BOTHERED TO CHARGE ANYTHING when even the most dim child can see its urgently needed..... its Volts and Amp display brings EXACTLY what the pathetic rip off cTech charger needs but never bothered to have !!!
Where upon in this halfway sensible combo set up you can see the cTech one is actually blasting out 14.8 volts - great until you need to key on and off cycle the bike - and its sleepy dim witted electronics brain doesn't notice and now its blasting out 15.4 Volts - key back on and its still doing it - where upon all the modules complain - Aghhh, I don't like high volts !!!
Moral - buy lidl quality junk - not posh TRASH from robbing idiots
So then you need to push software at a car and its the same stupidity yet again - So you buy a £500 quid one and it does exactly the same mistakes - over Volts as you key cycle the thing - well it does on a E class - but an S class is so power hungry you need permanent attachment to a 11kV sub-station
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