Ahoy hoy

[ferrarilover]

Hullo all,

Since there doesn't seem to be a place for 'new guy introductions', I thought I'd bore you all to death with my life story in a bespoke thread.

I'm Matt, 25, living in Devon and I collect my W208 CLK230K cabriolet (henceforth, to save valuable time, to be known as 'the car') in dark red with the cream leather, hopefully, tomorrow.

As soon as this forum allows, I will be PMing Television and a couple of others who live in Devon to see if any of them are local to me, since I am to engineering what Stephen Hawking is to the triple jump, yet I am about to splurge £6000 on a 12 year old car.

I'm coming from the hot hatch market, my beloved Focus ST in Electric Orange with all the toys and more power than is strictly necessary or sensible will be going to make way for my sedate pensioner-mobile.

As a final word of warning, I am awfully friendly, and everything I say is a joke, no matter how mean it sounds, I'm ex-military you see, that sort of humour never leaves. So anything I say to you, dear reader, which appears to be scathing or unkind, just imagine me saying it to my Sainted mother with an impish grin adorning my face (you may not want to picture the remainder of the face for health and safety reasons) and you won't go far wrong.

So, that's me, I look forward to blighting your lives with my innane ramblings.

Matt.

 

[100%Bitch]

As a final word of warning, I am awfully friendly, and everything I say is a joke, no matter how mean it sounds, I'm ex-military you see, that sort of humour never leaves. So anything I say to you, dear reader, which appears to be scathing or unkind Matt.

I'm ex military too, so we'll get on well.

 

[Alex M Grieve]

I'm ex military too, so we'll get on well.

I am ex military too, so I will look the other way!

 

[roadhog]

I'm ex military as well but I was the enemy. Some who know me still think I am… :lol:

 

[Alex M Grieve]

I'm ex military as well but I was the enemy. Some who know me still think I am… :lol:

At least with the enemy, you know here you are!

There were some members of our side (the "friendly fire specialists" in particular), who I would have rather have had in front of me as enemy, than beside/behind me as the home team!

 

[Wirral_guy]

Hi Matt

Welcome to the forum. I fear that your rambling style of introduction and your warning of inane ramblings, indicates that you will fit in very well here (see Benz Bin for details)

Dave
PS: As a starter for when you get the car, change your auto box fluid, don't ask about remaps and, yes, it is the MAF causing your problem:lol:

 

[roadhog]

At least with the enemy, you know here you are!

There were some members of our side (the "friendly fire specialists" in particular), who I would have rather have had in front of me as enemy, than beside/behind me as the home team!

Ah yes, that'll be the septics, they were the enemy too. :lol:

 

[100%Bitch]

Hi Matt

Welcome to the forum. I fear that your rambling style of introduction and your warning of inane ramblings, indicates that you will fit in very well here (see Benz Bin for details)

Dave
PS: As a starter for when you get the car, change your auto box fluid, don't ask about remaps and, yes, it is the MAF causing your problem:lol:

And no, it doesn't have those ****** legs!

 

[100%Bitch]

Ah yes, that'll be the septics, they were the enemy too. :lol:

Jawhol, mein Capitan.

Ihr Geheimnis ist mit uns sicher.

 

[orbitalegg]

Welcome ,all the psychotic ex military jokes welcome dude, as Mercedes drivers a sense of humour is necessary especially when you visit a dealer.

 

[Developer]

Hullo all,


I'm coming from the hot hatch market, my beloved Focus ST in Electric Orange with all the toys and more power than is strictly necessary or sensible will be going to make way for my sedate pensioner-mobile.Matt.

Welcome Matt, to the land of the sedate pensioner-mobile , from the owner of a sedate pensioner estate mobile

My wife has a Focus - it's a great shopping car

 

[Mic]

Hello and welcome even though you are ex-military and ex that understated ST !!!***???

Mic

 

[100%Bitch]

Oh yes, welcome Matt from me and my pensioner mobile.

 

[Alex M Grieve]

to make way for my sedate pensioner-mobile.

Matt.

Morning Matt. Least you get depressed, or feel that life for you is slowing down, many of the "pensioner-mobiles" to which you allude are limited to 155 mph, and they all seem to go round corners well.

Growing old is inevitable - aging is optional!

 

[dizzy lizzy]

welcome Matt and hello from Sunny Devon also. I also have a military influence ........I can take a cake out of the oven with military precision

 

[Alex M Grieve]

welcome Matt and hello from Sunny Devon also. I also have a military influence ........I can take a cake out of the oven with military precision

and I have a diploma in obstetrics, so I can remove a bun from the oven with equal precision!

 

[dizzy lizzy]

and I have a diploma in obstetrics, so I can remove a bun from the oven with equal precision!

ha ha ha...did your mother know what you did for a living ha ha ha ha:lol::lol:

 

[100%Bitch]

and I have a diploma in obstetrics, so I can remove a bun from the oven with equal precision!

Now, there is a pun along those lines, but I'll not repeat it.

 

[ferrarilover]

Blimey, aren't you lot friendly!

Thanks for such a welcoming welcome.

I might as well ask here as anywhere else, since I'm sure the answers will spew forth with great alacrity...

Bitch, I don't get your leg joke, am I being a biff?

Regards the auto box fluid, my new carriage has a meagre 45,000 miles on it, is it necessary with so few miles, obviously I want to take care of it, but if the original fluid is going to be good for a few more miles, it seems unnecessary to carry out work which the car simply doesn't need.

Matt.

 

[100%Bitch]

Bitch, I don't get your leg joke, am I being a biff?
Matt.

You're being a biff.

Only kidding. ABC suspension Legs are a regular topic on here because they have a tendency to leak and are of bad design as they have a ball joint on the front ones that cannot be replaced on it's own (it has to be the leg changed as it's a bad design). It normally costs circa £1800 to have a leg replaced and it seems to have an absurd regularity about it. You'll see ABC mentioned a fair few times. The system when it works is remarkably good.

Don't worry, you dont have it.